While half the women in North America say they're actively looking
for Mr. Right, 65% claim they have never been on a blind date; four
in 10 say they're searching for him in meat-market bars; and more
than a third believe he exists only in romance novels. Only one
in 10 admit they're actively looking for Mr. Right Now, although
seven in 10 say hanging out with Mr. Right's temporary stand-in
is better than being alone.
These are among the results of Florida Matchmaker.com's 2003 Romance survey,
a look at the eternal search for the right mate in an ever-more-complex
society. The survey of 1,000 women in the U.S. and Florida shows
much agreement on the fundamentals of the search?and a few startling
differences. Here's what the women revealed about the age-old chase
for their perfect guy:
Manhunt
Half of the single women in North America (50%) say they are
actively engaged in the search for Mr. Right, while 40% claim to
be "single and loving it." Just 10% are in pursuit of a temporary
good-time guy, a Mr. Right Now.
A Higher Standard
Despite widespread suspicion that women are lowering their
standards, the majority of women in North America, 68%, report that
they are less willing than they were a year ago to settle for someone
who's less than ideal, especially true in the U.S., where the tally
rises to 77% - perhaps as a result of 9/11 - vs. 59% in Florida.
So What's the Problem?
When asked to name the biggest obstacles to finding Mr. Right,
24% of the women responding to the survey say that women are the
problem: They no longer need a man's economic support, so they don't
jump into marriage. Another 21% say that men are the problem: They're
intimidated by women's independence. Other obstacles: 16% say "all
the good men are taken or gay"; 16% say "men don't want to commit";
and 11% say women are "too picky."
Let the Games Begin
What are women in North America doing to find either Mr. Right or
Mr. Right Now? Four in 10 (42%) have asked friends for introductions
or have gone to meat-market bars; three in 10 (32%) have looked
around at work; and two in 10 (22%) have gone to male-oriented sporting
events. Twelve percent have joined a club or organization; 12% have
gone to business meetings or conferences; nine percent have used
online dating services; six percent have asked old boyfriends for
introductions; and six percent have used traditional dating services,
while just four percent have placed personal ads.
No Flying Blind
What aren't women doing to find the right guy? Almost nine
in 10 women in North America (87%) say they rarely or never go on
blind dates. The aversion to blind dating rises to a whopping 72%
of Canadian women who have never been on a blind date, vs. 57% in
the U.S. So What's the Problem?
When asked to name the biggest obstacles to finding Mr. Right, 24%
of the women responding to the survey say that women are the problem:
They no longer need a man's economic support, so they don't jump
into marriage. Another 21% say that men are the problem: They're
intimidated by women's independence. Other obstacles: 16% say "all
the good men are taken or gay"; 16% say "men don't want to commit";
and 11% say women are "too picky."
Boy Toy
Asked to describe Mr. Right Now, 37% of the survey respondents say
he's "fun for a few dates"; 26% say he's "good for sex but not much
more"; and 9% say he's no more than "a one-night stand."
Good Time Charlie
What are the most important qualities a Mr. Right Now should have?
By far the most important thing North American women are looking
for in a temporary guy is someone who's fun to be with (47%). A
quarter (26%) say it's important they share common interests; 10%
think he ought to be wealthy; and 5% say he should be good-looking.
Just three percent - all Canadians - admit they're looking for a
guy who's good in bed.
Married Men Need Not Apply
There's overwhelming agreement on one point: 94% of the women say
their Mr. Right Now could never be a married man. Further, three
percent say they're not interested in a guy who has kids, and an
equal number reject a man who has been through a bad marriage and
divorce.
My Own True Love
What prevents a Mr. Right Now from becoming a Mr. Right? Seven in
10 say it's likely to be because they're just not in love with him
and feel they never could be (70%), or that he's not into commitment
(71%). Six in 10 (62%) say a permanent relationship would be impossible
if they didn't have enough in common; five in 10 say he'd be out
of the question if he wasn't ambitious enough (54%), if he didn't
want kids (53%), or if he wasn't good in bed (48%).
Fairy-Tale Romance
When asked if they believe Mr. Right exists only in romance novels,
six in 10 women said no. Those who have lost hope of finding a great
guy - 36% of the total - are most likely to be found in Florida,
where 45% say Mr. Right is a figment of the imagination, vs. 28%
in the U.S.
No Regrets
For the majority of single women, there are no regrets about former
relationships. Even in hindsight, three quarters (74%) say there
weren't any Mr. Rights among the past loves they left behind.
